I Am Addicted To Genealogy!

When you are in a different city do you look through the phone book to find people
that have the same surname as one of your ancestors?

Do you get excited when you drive by a Cemetery?

Do you talk about your deceased ancestors as though they were still a live?

Does your librarian or the person that works at the archives know your whole life story?

Do you check the obituaries everyday?

Does your spouse call the library to see when you are coming home? 

Do you spend your vacation tracking down ancestors in county courthouses?

Do you keep pictures of tombstones or long deceased ancestors in your wallet?

Can you remember the date an ancestor died but you can't remember to feed the pets?

Instead of an emergency kit in your car you have a research kit.

Does your boss call the library or archives to see when you will be coming back from 
your lunch break?

The records you need for your family history were in the courthouse that burned.

John, son of Thomas, the immigrant whom your relatives claim as immigrant ancestor, died on board ship at the age of twelve.

The public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated when the platform collapsed turned out to be a hanging.

Records show that the grandfather, whom the family boasted, "He read the Bible at four years and graduated from college at sixteen," was at the foot of his class.

Your grandmother's maiden name for which you've searched for years was on an old letter in abox in the attic all the time.

When at last you have solved the mystery of the skeleton in the closet the tight-lipped spinster Aunt claimed, "I could have told you that all the time."

You never asked your father about his family because you weren't interested in genealogy while he was alive.

The family story your grandmother wrote for the family never got past the typist. She packed it away "somewhere" and promised to send you a copy, but never did.

The relative who had all the family photographs gave them to her daughter who had no interest in genealogy and no inclination to share.

A great-uncle changed his surname because he was teased in school. He moved away, left no address, and was never heard from again.

Brittle old newspapers containing the information you desired have fallen apart on the names and dates and places.

The only record you find for your great-grandfather is that his property was sold at a sheriff's sale for insolvency.

The portion of the index you need is continued in the next issue, only the publisher died prior to publication.

When you find the obituary for your grandmother, the information is garbled. Her name is exchanged with her daughter's, the whereabouts of her sons is unknown, the date for her father's birth indicates he was younger than she was.

The vital records director sends you a negative reply, having just been insulted by a creep calling himself a genealogist.

The document containing evidence of the missing link in your research invariably will be lost due to fire, flood, or war.

Your great, great, grandfather's obituary states the he died, leaving no issue of record.

The town clerk you wrote to in desperation, and finally convinced to give you the information you need, can't write legibly and doesn't have a copying machine.

The will you need is in the safe on board the "Titanic."

The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation.

That ancient photograph of four relatives, one of whom is your progenitor, carries the names of the other three.

Copies of old newspapers have holes which occur only on last names.

No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, always rented property, was not sued, and was never named in wills.

You learned that great aunt Matilda's executor just sold her life's collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer "somewhere in New York City."

Yours is the ONLY last name not found among the 3 billion in the world-famous Mormon archives in Salt Lake City.

Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to the value of the data recorded.

The 37-volume, sixteen-thousand-page history of your country of origin ISN'T INDEXED.

The critical link in your family tree is named "Smith."- - - - - - - -

Your families never had attics, much less Bibles or boxes full of photos.

All real library "finds" are made five minutes before closing, when the copier is broken.

The correctly shelved books and correctly filed forms are never the ones you need.

The person sitting next to you at the research center is finding ancestors every five minutes...and telling you.

The e-mail address that bounces is the one from a person who listed your exact names. If you find a working address, you aren't related.

Your microfilm reader is the one that squeaks, has to be turned backwards, and doesn't quite focus.

Your cemeteries have no caretaker or records archive.

Alternate spellings and arcane names were your folks' favorite pasttimes.

Your ancestors only knew three names, and used them over and over in every collateral line.

Your sister neglects to mention that the date she gave you, which you have researched, and sent to other researchers, was just a guess with no foundation, and she guessed because she "didn't like leaving that line blank."

Your mother neglects to mention that,"Oh, yes, we knew they changed their name.

The blot on the page of the census covers your grandmother's birthdate!

The only overturned, face-down gravestone in the cemetery is your great-great grandfather's!

You finally find your ancestor's obituary in an old newspaper and all it says is "Died last week."

You finally get a day off from work to travel to a courthouse -- and when you get there it's closed for emergency plumbing repairs.

1    YOURSELF==Generation 1
2  YOUR  parents===2
4   grandparents===3
8    g grandparents===4
16    gg grandparents===5
32      ggg grandparents===6
64      gggg grandparents===7
128      ggggg grandparents===8
256      gggggg grandparents===9
512      ggggggg grandparents===10
1,024        gggggggg grandparents===11
2,048        ggggggggg grandparents===12
4,096        gggggggggg grandparents===13
8,192        ggggggggggg grandparents===14
16,384         gggggggggggg grandparents===15
32,768         ggggggggggggg grandparents===16
65,536         gggggggggggggg grandparents===17
131,072            ggggggggggggggg grandparents===18
262,144            gggggggggggggggg grandparents===19
524,288            ggggggggggggggggg grandparents===20
1,048,576              gggggggggggggggggg grandparents===21
2,097,152              ggggggggggggggggggg grandparents===22
4,194,304              gggggggggggggggggggg grandparents===23
==================================================
8,388,608 people = 24 generations starting with yourself

NOW!!!!!!!!! SOME WHERE IN THERE YOU ARE SURELY RELATED TO ME

I am like him, so they say,
Who was dead before I came.
Cheeks and mouth and eyes of gray
Have been fashioned much the same.

I am like her, so they say,
Who was dead ere I was born,
And I walk the self-same way
On the paths her feet have worn.

There is that within my face
And the way I hold my head
Which seems strangely to replace
Those who long have joined the dead.

Thus across the distance far
In the body housing me
Both my great-grandparents are
Kept alive in memory.

Edgar A. Guest 1934

Why Me?

A pause

Ethereal whispers
Persuasive, soft and still.
"Daughter, if you don't remember us,
Who will?

Dot Stutter,
Victoria, BC. Canada, 1996

Family Jewel

By Kelly Taft Krause upon receipt of the Swan/Perry Family Bible given to me by my cousin,
Eileen Witherow Mitchell (March 1998)

Our Ancestors

If you could see your ancestors
All standing in a row
Would you be proud of them or not
Or don't you really know?

Some strange discoveries are made
In climbing family trees
And some of them you know, do not
Particularly please.

If you could see your ancestors
All standing in a row,
There might be some of them perhaps
You wouldn't care to know.

But there's another question, which
Requires a different view.
IF you could meet your ancestors
Would they be proud of YOU?

Author Unknown

There’s been a change in Grandma, we’ve noticed as of late
She’s always reading history, or jotting down some date.
She’s tracing back the family, we’ll all have pedigrees,
Grandma’s got a hobby, she’s Climbing Family Trees
                                               ....
Poor Grandpa does the cooking, and now, or so he states,
he even has to wash the cups and the dinner plates.
Well, Grandma can’t be bothered, she’s busy as a bee,
Compiling genealogy for the Family Tree.

She has not time to baby-sit, the curtains are a fright.
No buttons left on Grandpa’s shirt, the flower bed’s a sight.
She’s given up her club work, the serials on TV,
The only thing she does nowdays is climb the Family Tree.

The mail is all for Grandma, it comes from near and far.
Last week she got the proof she needs to join the DAR.
A monumental project - to that we all agree,
A worthwhile avocation - to climb the Family Tree.

There were pioneers and patriots mixed with our kith and kin,
Who blazed the paths of wilderness and fought through thick and thin.
But none more staunch than Grandma, whose eyes light up with glee,
Each time she finds a missing branch for the Family Tree.

To some it’s just a hobby, to Grandma it’s much more.
She learns the joys and heartaches of those who went before.
They loved, they lost, they laughed, they wept -- and now for you and me,
They live again in spirit around the Family Tree.

At last she’s nearly finished, and we are each exposed.
Life will be the same again, this we all suppose.
Grandma will cook and sew, serve crullers with our tea.
We’ll have her back, just as before that wretched Family Tree.

by Virginia Day McDonald, Macon, GA

by English author Richard Rolle, written over 600 years ago.
 

Blessed are the great-grandmothers, who hoarded newspaper clippings and old letters,
For they telll the story of their time.
Blessed are all grandfathers who filed every legal document,
For this provides proof.
Blessed are grandmothers who preserved family Bibles and diaries,
For this is our heritage.
Blessed are fathers who elect officials that answer letters of inquiry,
For--some--they are the only link to the past.
Blessed are mothers who relate family traditions and legends to the family,
For one of her children will surely remember.
Blessed are the relatives who fill in family sheets with extra data,
For them we owe the family history.
Blessed is any family whose members strive for the preservation of records,
For theirs is a labor of love.
Blessed are the children who will never say,
"Grandma, you have told that old story twice today."

Source: Prairieland Pioneer, Prairieland Genealogical Society, Southwest Historical Center Room 141, Southwest State
Univ. Marshall, MN 56258 Summer 1995 Edition; St Louis Genealogy Society; SWNGS
Ancestors Unlimited; Duluth Gen.
Soc. Branching Out; Ottertail County Gen. Soc.

SYMPTOMS:
Continual complaint as to need for names, dates and places
Patient has a blank expression, sometimes deaf  to spouse and children.
Has no taste for work of any kind except feverishly looking through records at libraries and Record  Offices.
Has compulsion to write letters. Swears at postman when he doesn't leave mail
Frequents strange places such as cemeteries, ruins and remote, desolate country areas.
Makes secret night calls, mumbles to self.
Has strange faraway look in eyes.

TREATMENT:
Medication is useless. Disease is not fatal, but gets progressively worse. Patient should attend Family History  Workshops, subscribe to Genealogical magazines and be given a quiet corner of the house where he, or she, can be alone.

The usual nature of the disease is - the sicker the patient gets, the more he, or she enjoys it 

H.J.Tucker
Courtesy of: Marion Walte

I've traveled across the sea in my mind,
an ancestor of mine I'm wishing to find.
so I close my eyes and see her once more,
my Grandmother of mine knocking at my front door.

I open the door to let her come in,
and I feel her heartbeat next to mine once again. This woman I've seen through eyes of a child, was kind and gentle, tender and mild.

She still is wearing on the top of her head,
a kerchief still colored a dark shade of red.
The homemade apron with pockets outlined, a treasure chest I knew I would find.

I see the fine lines ingrained on her face,
each line with my fingers I try hard to trace.
Through these lines I would visit another seashore, this Grandmother of mine, I'm outside of her door.

She'd open the door to let me come in,
and she'd feel my heartbeat next to hers' once again. This child she's seen through a Grandmother's eyes, was kind and gentle, tender and wise.

We had a nice visit, my Grandmother and me, both of us placed on our ancestral tree.
Our heartbeats are now beating as one,
as we sail from her homeland and my dreaming is done.

I awake from my sleep, but ingrained in my head, is my journey through time as I slumbered in bed.
I look in the mirror that is now set in place,
an image of me with my Grandmother's face.

Our elders are passing, one by one
Surely gone forever, until there are none.
Their bountiful memories, their knowledge of the past,
Soon will be lost, and beyond our grasp.

The past is prologue, so delicate to retain,
Slipping slowly from our grasp, ‘til nothing remains.
For our elders are passing, so sad but true,
And with them their memories, and all that they knew.

It's urgent for sure, to record each thought,
Of every family elder, so its not for naught.
So generations remember the beauteous past,
We'll retain that knowledge, and ensure it will last.

There'll be no better time, than that right now,
To begin your quest, or to renew your vow.
So locate your elders, and schedule that meeting,
In light of the fact, that time is so fleeting.

"I certify these to be sixty-four pages and a piece of the inhabitants and done as near in accordance with my oath as I could do it. The people was hard to get along with!"
 

Dear ----,

I have spent several years looking for family information and have, as of this week, decided that I am a descendent of the family branch called UNKNOWNS.

I find kazillions with the names of my branches but my branches don't seem to attach to any trees in the known world. Therefore, I have concluded that there are four ways in which the UNKNOWNS originated:

1. We were sent to the colonies by the British government in the 1700's  to spy. We so excelled in the art of blending in with the flora and fauna that no one knew we were here...even the British lost contact with us.

2. We were dropped off here by one of the space ships that some think  visited our planet. Again, we were outstanding in the ability to blend  in and so were never noticed. Somewhere down the line someone forgot to  tell us that we are from another planet. I think the space ships some people report seeing and being captured by, are our true family and  they are looking for us to take us home.

3. Immaculate conception...which explains itself.

4. I really don't exist. I am but a figment of someone's imagination but don't know who that someone is.

I am very frustrated as you can tell. Do you have a section in this area  for us UNKNOWNs to apply to families for adoption so that we can attach  our tiny branch buds and belong to some tree... any tree?

Written by: Mary Ann Bartlett 
 

10 Family Rules

From a letter to the Editor of the West Side Leader (suburban Akron, Ohio), and it pretty well sums up why genealogists have such a soft spot in their hearts for old cemeteries.
 

The wife, mother, and daughter of James Christmas were all named Mary Christmas

Frank Guest was listed as a visitor

Harriet Goodhand was listed as a domestic servant

The families of William Lovegrove, Henry Dearlove, and William Darling all lived on the same block in Oxfordshire

A woman named Rose married Robert Garden

Emma Boatwright married a seaman

Mr. Thorn lived in Rose Cottage

Robert Speed, a bus driver and post runner

Robert Robb, a detective officer

Phoebe Brain, a scholar

One woman's birthplace was listed as "in stage coach between Nottingham and Derby"

John Pounder, a blacksmith

William Scales, a piano maker

Herman Hamberger, born in Greece

Curious occupations: dirt refiner, hoveller, moleskin saver, piano puncher, sparable cutter, spittle maker, tingle maker, and whim driver

Twin four-year-olds named Peter the Great and William the Conqueror

Brothers named Seaman and Landsman

The occupation of three daughters was entered as "They toil not, neither do they spin"
 

"Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.
The dining room table with clutter was spread
With pedigree charts and with letters which said...
"Too bad about the data for which you wrote
Sank in a storm on an ill fated boat."

Stacks of old copies of wills and the such
Were proof that my work had become much to much.
Our children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.
And I at my table was ready to drop
From work on my album with photos to crop.

Christmas was here, and of such was my lot
That presents and goodies and toys I forgot.
Had I not been so busy with grandparent's wills,
I'd not have forgotten to shop for such thrills.
While others had bought gifts that would bring Christmas cheer;
I'd spent time researching those birthdates and years.

While I was thus musing about my sad plight,
A strange noise on the lawn gave me such a great fright.
Away to the window I flew in a flash,
Tore open the drapes and I yanked up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But an overstuffed sleigh and eight small reindeer.

Up to the housetop the reindeer they flew,
With a sleigh full of toys, and old Santa Claus too.
And then in a twinkle, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of thirty-two hoofs.
The TV antenna was no match for their horns,
And look at our roof with hoof-prints adorned.

As I drew in my head, and bumped it on the sash,
Down the cold chimney fell Santa - KER-RASH!
"Dear" Santa had come from the roof in a wreck,
And tracked soot on the carpet, (I could wring his short neck!)
Spotting my face, good old Santa could see
I had no Christmas spirit you'd have to agree.

 He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the stockings, (I felt like a jerk).
Here was Santa, who'd brought us such gladness and joy;
When I'd been too busy for even one toy.
He spied my research on the table all spread
"A genealogist!" He cried! (My face was all red!)

"Tonight I've met many like you", Santa grinned.
As he pulled from his sack a large book he had penned.
I gazed with amazement - the cover it read
"Genealogy Lines for Which You Have Plead."
"I know what it's like as a genealogy bug,"
He said as he gave me a great Santa Hug.

"While the elves make the sleigh full of toys I now carry,
I do some research in the North Pole Library!
A special treat I am thus able to bring,
To genealogy folks who can't find a thing.
Now off you go to your bed for a rest,
I'll clean up the house from this genealogy mess."

As I climbed up the stairs full of gladness and glee, I looked back at Santa who'd brought much to me.
While settling in bed, I heard Santa's clear whistle, To his team which then rose like the down of a thistle
And I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
"Family History is Fun! Merry Christmas! Goodnight!"

Let us start with a quotation from the Psalms:
'The Lord shall count, when he writeth up the people that this man was born there.'
(Psalm 87, verse 6)

However he hadn't reckoned on the vagaries of the Session Clerk:

'Any person that wants a child's name in any of the three preceding pages may scarcely expect to find it in the proper place. They being wrote by Mr King, late schoolmaster depute here without any regularity or order.'

And, in different handwriting and ink:

'The above ill natured ungentlemanlike observation was written by Mr James Whyte and stands as one mark of his own distinguished Idiotism.'
(Dunning, 1764; OPR 350/1, Fr 124)

'N.B. Let not Posterity be surprised that this register is not complete. It is and has been the custom of the Revd. Mr Peter Campbell ever since the Incumbency of the present Clerk to baptize Children: without a certificate of their names being registered. In consequence of which, it may safely be averred that one third if not one Half were given in.'
(Glossary, 1768; OPR 511/1, Fr 9)

End of 1773
Totalling up of Births Total 37 - " ym 20 years Total 640 or 32 each at an average".  (In beautiful script) "Mr Wylie's remarks in our volumes in an abominable hand - writing".
(821/5 Fr278)

14th May 1797
The Schoolmaster having resigned His charge of this date, the Register is continued by J.Anderson minr.

Sept. 2nd 1797

'Having found many Inconveniences resulting to the poor owing to the names of their Children not being regularly inserted; & having been put to a great Deal of Trouble in Consequence of this Neglect, at the Time of raising The Militia; I have resolved in future to keep the Register myself; & to allow the Schoolmaster a Yearly Salary for officiating at Session Clerk meetings.'
(Kingussie and Insh, 1797 OPR 102/2, Fr 300)

From Dundonald Kirk Session:
A committee appointed to examine the Register of Baptisms 1836 - 1839. Comment - "a mass of confusion". A very slight inspection of this record convinced the Committee that the entries had not been made with a degree of care proportional to its importance ... The faults observed in these entries may for the sake of brevity be reduced to the following heads.
1st  Interlineations of which there are 16
2nd Corrections of which there are 15
3rd Imperfect of which there are 4
4th Wrong name of place and person of which there are 3
5th Wrong dates of which there are 2

'In one of these cases a child is represented to have been baptised about a week before birth, a circumstance not likely to have occurred.'
(Dundonald, 1839)

1744 Febry. 4th
'By an unlucky Accident the Session Clerk's House was burnt; By which the Records of Marriages and Baptisms were lost.'
(Stoneykirk,1744 OPR 898/1, Fr 221)

Some, of course, were less understanding... ‘Forgetfulness is no Excuse' - 'Amen' [in different writing]
(Duffus, 1755; OPR 151/3, Fr 568)

Luckily not all our ancestors have remained in oblivion - their coming into the world being recorded in a variety of ways and styles:

Deskford, 1740‘
Alexander MacHattie in Ardoch had a Child by his Wife who was born with a wooden leg. It is supposed the child has been got by a Chelsea Pensioner with a timber heugh' [in different writing and crossed out].

(Deskford, 10.1 1740; OPR 151/1, Fr 164)

Torthorwald, 1773
Andrw. /S/ Samuel Murrah labourer Torw. Born Jany. 26 Baptized Decr. 31.
Note: 'Andw Murrah was born with an eye tooth come a considerable length but disappeared afterward in the Gum.'
(Torthorwald, 1773; OPR 850/1, Fr 37)

1809 11 May
'Born per Letter and Exposed 5th June found at 2 o'Clock a.m. at Mr Potts's Door Wester Breich Dyke and baptised on the 22d Nov. - a son named Jas. Russell Livingstone died Friday 24th Novr. 1809.'
(Livingston, 1809 OPR 669/1, Fr 22)

Livingston, 1807
Born to Hellen Baxter in the Village of Livingston on 28 Decr 1805 and Baptized on the 26th Feby. 1807 named Helen Baxter 'N.B. This Child at the time of its Baptism could not find a Father. Her Mother gave it to a Packman which she said came up to her on the road from Edinr. though the Father was suspected to be nearer the doors. But a confession from the time it was born to this day Could not be extorted from the Mother.'   (Livingston, 1807; OPR 669/1, Fr 358)

Edinburgh, 1830
 'Andrew Young's daughter Abigail born with 2 teeth'.
 (Tolbooth Church, Edinburgh, bap 26.2 1830; OPR 685.T/1 Fr 326)

Middlebie Parish, Dumfries
ROBERT GRIEVE & his wife Mary Thomson had a son born at Alfornothing on the 16th
October 1835 & baptized  James. Registered on 31st December 1855 by Chris Borthwick,
Registrar.
(OPR 841/2, Fr 225)

Dysart
June 24, 1754 - John Thomson, Bluegown in the 87th year of his age & Elizabeth Marshall had a son bap. called:WALTER. Wits: Walter Christie & Andrew Forbes.
(OPR 426/4, Fr -)

Description of father's character or local rivalry?
'Septr 29th to George Anderson in Swannyside (a scoundrall a knave a scrub a rascall a villain a cheat) a son called Andrew'
[and in a different hand below the entry].
'The above George Anderson is as honest, just obliging man as any other man in the parish to the master, minr & school master and to all others. Attested by John Louitt Session Clerk'
(Birsay, Orkney, OPR 13/1, 1751)

And as today, naming was a matter of personal preference...

9th April 1769
'James Paterson and Jean Frazer in Thornhill had a daughter baptised before the Congregation called William-All-Mina.'
(Morton, 1769; OPR 843/1, Fr 96)

Or how about this for a name:

Something - George Something lawful son to what-ye-call-him in Mains of Barskimming was baptized April 9th 1704.
(Ochiltree, 1704 OPR 609/1. page 9)

Waterloo Wellington Kennedy.' (Born 11 Feb/Bapt 22 Feb WATERLOO Wellington lawful son of James Kennedy Junior Seedsman and Elizabeth Hayne Dumfries - Baptised by Dr Wallace)
 (Dumfries, 1853; OPR 821/8, Fr 2041)

‘1774 June 15th BALDY Lawll. Son to Archd Buchanan and Jean Buchanan at Rid[?] was baptized before these witnesses: John and Walter Buchanan Elders'
 (OPR 482/3)

And with great expectations:

22nd February 1818, Glasgow
'Duncan McIntyre Mason & Mary McIntyre [had] a Law. Son [called] Saint Mark - Bo. 31st January Wit: James Laird & John Gilmour'
(Glasgow, 1818; OPR 644.1/22*, Fr 2456)

4th July 1819, Glasgow
'Archibald McPherson Weaver & Elizabeth Forsyth [had] a Law. Son [called] John Baptist Wit: John McPherson & James Douglas.'
(OPR 644.1/22*, Fr 2552)

Some, of course, had it made from the start...

15th July 1690, Dunfermline
The 12th day bout nine hours in the morning being a Saturday, John Christie [Chrystie] precentor had ane manchild born to him of his wife [Jean] Finlay, baptised ye 15th instant by Mr Simon Cowper and called James. The godfryes was James, King of Great Britain, France and Ireland defender of ye Faith and James Finley grandfather to the child.'
(OPR 424/3, Fr 916)

We pass now to marriage

Banchory Devenick, 1827
Marriage of Andrew Wood & Agnes Twig [And they branched out] (not in book)
(24 July 1828 son George)
(Banchory Devenick, Kincardineshire; 4.10.1827 - OPR 251/3, Fr-)

A gentle recommendation for getting married:

'Marriage is honourable in all things and the bed undefiled. But whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. And marriage was institute for the procreation of children in a lawful way.Better Marry than Burn.'
(Edinburgh, 1721)

Clearly little changes and marriage has always been an uncertain state:

'Donald Camerone (Woodend) to Mary Cameron (Aharkile)

N.B. There has been something very odd about the above parties. They fast contracted and then split. Then agreed and with much regularity married, were not married passing 5 days when lo the weaker vessel set sail and steered her course for her mammy.'
(Strontian, Feb 1833 - OPR 505-3/2, Fr-)

 '25 June. Patrick Cheyne, Schoolmaster at Echt & Mrs. Sophia Garioch, Daugtr. of Alexr. Garioch Farmer in Glack in the Parish of Kinernie were contracted in order to Marriage but by the mutual consent of both Parties [the match was broke off].
Ha ha ha ha! He he he!' [in different writing]
(Wm Blair's Transcript - Midmar, 1720; OPR 222/1, Fr 231

'Married 24th June James Dobie in the parish of Lochmaben to Jenny Cannon lately in the Moss from Lochrutton, both out of this parish, being the first pair married in the New Kirk. She was next year condemned to be hanged for stealing cattle but got a reprieve and afterwards a full pardon.'
(Lochmaben, 1786)

'Hugh Thomson and Jean Greenlies both in this Congregation. She Rewed'.
(Campbeltown, 1723; OPR 507/1A, Fr 225)

Parents didn't always approve of their child's choice of partner:

'Alexander Blair, weaver and Eliza Russell both of this Parish have been three several times proclaimed in the Parish Church here.  Objections to the said Marriage betwixt the said Alexander Blair & Eliza Russell have been made by James Blair father of Alexander Blair as father.
1) That the said Alexander Blair is not of the age nor can he without the consent of his parents enter into a Matrimonial alliance.
 2) That the said Eliza Russell is not the person he can recommend as a wife to his said son. She having had several illegitimate children.
3) That the said James Blair considers that his said son is scarcely of the age of puberty, at least he is not eighteen years of age.'
(OPR 424/17, Fr 5048A)

And in Longforgan in 1685 we find the somewhat ambiguous statement:

'It is also ordered that no brydegroom kiss his bryde before the Minister under the pain of ten merk.'

But as the testaments remind us, nothing is more certain than death, and nothing more uncertain than the time and manner thereof...

Death by 'stupidity'
'James Robertson born January 1785 died 16th June 1848 aged 63 years. He was a peaceable quiet man; and to all appearances a sincere Christian. His death was very much regretted which was caused by the stupidity of Laurence Tulloch in Clotharter who sold him nitre instead of Epsom salts by which he was killed in the space of 3 hours after a dose of it.'
 (Esherness, Shetland)

A sordid tale of adultery and murder
 'About the beginning of this month there was a child born by an Barbara Hervie a malefactor who about Martinmas last had given poison in a drink of warm small ale to her husband John Tod who lived in Balchristie at that time and the said Barbara having been taken in the act of uncleaness with an Robert Reid who when he was servant to the said John Tod had contrived the busines betwixt him and the said Barbara Hervie that they might the more freely enjoy an another by a marriage after his death: it was not above 3 or four days after the death of her husband when they were taken in this abominable act and the man dying in a sudden not being sick above two days and dying by a great swelling in his body which he was not subject to before and the womans too familiar carriage with the d Robt Reid befor her husbands death, all this gave a great suspition to all the neighbours that she had somway murdered him and given him some kind of poisonous dozz or another, this report being spread abroad at length came to the minr. of Newburn Mr James Hay, be name, his airs, who assigned the sd Barbara befor his session and having posed her upon all the above written circumstances, she confessed ye whole and that she had lyon in adulterie half a year before her goodmans death with the sd Rot. Reid and declaired that she was with child but could not tell whether it was to her husband or to Rot. Reid, upon which they were both seized on and brought to Dunfermline where the both were keapt in prison while the child was brought forth, where it was baptized by an of our own mins. called: ISOBEL, after which the man and the woman both were by ane assyse found guiltie of death and the man ordained to be hanged att the towr hill the 22 instant and the poor infant to be sent to the parish of Newburn to be brought up, after that the sd Robert Reid had lyon a considerable of time in the prison att length he brock through the wall of it, being the lymhous and in the night time made his escape and was away upwards of eight or ten days in which time he might have easilie been out of the kingdom but accidentilie he was taken by an Gilbert Robertson who was assisted by William Eson, a Sclatter at Newtyle in Angus and brought in to ye town that same day that the woman was brought to bed which is a notable instance of god almighties justice that he will not suffer such notorious sinners to go unpunished even in this world whatever shift they may make to escap justice.'
(Bap. Dunfermline, March 1689; OPR 424/3, Fr 906)

Rathen, 1798
Thomas Ogilvie born 2nd January 1798 died 21st September. 5th son, 10th child of George Ogilvie by Rebecca Irvine his wife. This infant is the only descendant of his maternal grandparents that is yet deceased, all their 6 children, 24 grandchildren being still living, whose joint ages amount to upwards of five hundred and twenty two years.'
(Rathen, Aberdeenshire)

Collessie, 1793
'Thomas Garrick died in Collessie 1793. He was in the practice of waling to Rossie and the other adjacent houses within a few months of his death. Was a soldier in the Duke of Argyle's Regiment in 1715. Married his second wife, a stout woman of about 50 years, in his 99th year, who died about 2 years ago.'
(Collessie, Fife)

Lethnot & Navar Parish Mort Roll, Forfarshire,1755
March 25th Agnes Tod aged near a hundred a Cottars wife in Witten whose sight even on her death bed continued so strong that she could see to thread a needle, also retained memory & other senses unimpaired to the last.
(OPR 300/1 Fr 332)

Inveresk Parish, 20 July 1725
PATRICK SPENCE Workman & Margaret Dickson his spouse their son named: JAMES was Born the Twentieth day of July and Baptised the --- thereof.
Witnesses: William Cass & Andrew Hay Bap. Privately in their house by Mr R.B.
(OPR 689/7, Fr 2211)

"This Marg. Dickson was executed in the Grassmercat of Edr. the 2d of September last for murdering her own child."
 

No collection of quotes from the Old Parochial Registers can be complete without some references to the "miscellaneous, heterogeneous and (to others) trivial things", as the Minister of Kirkmahoe described them before launching into a long description of the weather and crops in the parish, which are to be found intermingled with the records of baptisms and proclamations and burials including:
 

'Cure for the bite of a Mad Dog either in Man or Beast'
'Take rue small shorn, garlick stamped, mithridate or Venice Tryacle, syrup of tin or pewter. Boil all these in 2 quarts of stale ale in a pot close covered for an hour. Then strain it and give this liquor in the morning fasting and warm to a man or woman nine spoonfuls, to a beast cold, to an horse or cow eleven spoonfuls, to a sheep eight spoonfuls, to a dog four spoonfuls.'
(Dunning, Perthshire)

25th November 1779
'Being a day appointed by the synod for publick Thanksgiving in Commemoration of 1st - the goodness of divine providence in granting us a favourable season and a plentiful harvest: 2nd the Internal peace and tranquility which we in this part of the country enjoy in time of publick danger while war wages abroad and the sea coasts of this island have been threatened with Invasion: 3rdly the removal of our late fears for the repeal of the laws in being against property.'
(Dunning, 1779)

To find the age of the moon
'Add the Epact for March 1st for April 2nd, for May 3rd, for June 4th and July 5th for August 6th, for September 8th, for October 8th, for November 10th, for January 10th and February 2nd. Having added to the Epact the number for the month according to the rule foregoing, add thereto the day of the month for which the moon's age is required, these three sumes add thereto if less than 30 is the moon's age, if more than 30 then: divide it by 30, the Re..... (this dessertation was never finished ...)'
(Eckford, 1790)

To ease the afflictions of Man
'Sold by George Reid, printer at bottom of Fisher's Land Close, Lawnmarket, first door of the stair, sells tincture of sagge and Canada balsam for curing in women one of the most afflicting disorders to which human nature is subject and in Men the disorders from the passion of Giogenes.'
(Scoonie, 1775)

Even in the 18th century fallout was a problem... '20th October 1755 On a Monday a very dark sky and yet the sun was seen mostly all day and there fell a Black heavy Dust upon the earth.'
(Sandsting and Aithsting, 1755)

...and global warming was affecting the weather
'1st December 1811 Sunday ½ Dairy
I preached at home today. It was a raw and windy day threatening rain, few in church - collection 5s. 2d. Mr Ewin, schoolmaster at Dalswinton village dined with me. I lent Mr Lancaster's book on education. It now begins to rain heavily (6 o'clock p.m.) and is likely to rain much. We have had a week or two of very fierce winter weather after two months of the most rainy and floody weather I have ever witnessed. The comet seems to me to have been the cause of the uncommon warm weather in the month of August and beginning of September and of the consequent very wet weather, and of the virial days immediately past, and the earth being so heated by the approach of this body, little frost may be expected till the new year be arrived.'
(Kirkmahoe, 1811)

Last thoughts....
And having given you such seasonal thoughts on the weather, we will leave you with these two gems - in the words of a Frenchwoman who wrote saying       .... "I want to search for my family trunk".
Please search for B Henry Steward Wishart 7 July ? 1872 (at Silas Low ? - client's info).
(644/7 fr 1282)  NOTE : Silas Low = GLASGOW

Once upon a time a child was ready to be born.
The child asked God,
"How am I going to live on Earth when I'm so small and helpless?"
God replied, "I'll choose an Angel to watch over you.
She'll be waiting on Earth when you arrive.
"She will sing for you and will also smile for you every
day.  And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "But I won't know the language there.
How am I ever going to communicate?"
God said, "Your angel will speak the most beautiful and sweet words
you will ever hear and, with much patience and care, will teach
you how to speak.  And she will use her voice to sing sweet
lullabies as she rocks you to sleep."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?" asked the child.
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you
how to pray.  She will teach you that prayer is the best way
to talk to me, not just in times of need, but in happy times, too."
"I've heard that on Earth there are bad people.  Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking her life.
She will instruct you in the things you need to know to live
life joyfully and safely."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach
you the way to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven.

The child's journey was about to begin.
the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now,
please tell me my angel's name."
God said, "Her name is not important.
You will simply call her GRANDMA." 
 

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